Never alone

i lay my hands
open before you
with petals in my hands
i think of the souls
of those who have gone on before You
in great sacrifice
in self denied ways
that led them to glory
even if it cost me my life
let me truly know You
if i die tonight
let me know You
even if i was offered all of the gold in the world
id refuse it for just knowing You
id chase away the robbers and the ones who
walk in your temple
claiming to sell your goodness
when it all came from You
my passion is played
im a beat in the air
which dances and
i shift into worship
flipping through heavenly atmospheres
as a trained olympic medalist
who has learned to conquer
their fears
i Have no worries
because everything is all in Your hands
so i will glady laugh and dance
while i sweep
up the petals of the saints who have gone
on before me
and take in their sweet fragrance
which toucheth my soul
and bring my heart many many smiles
your life is a song
whats being played?
your heart has multiple strings of music
which sing the notes of your deepest feelings
let me in to have a look
make Your home in my heart
o sweet dearest Lord
You are the lover of my soul
the Shepherd which oversees me
and your rod and your staff they comfort me--ar


i gladly lean back and
rest on your chest o
fairest One
i sit in your shade
and your Fruit is sweet to my taste
the grass is our verdant bed
and the scents of spices i take great delight
in
the wind is blowing and
i can see it move your hair
in the breeze
tell me o you whom my soul loves
can i see you and sit with you
for just one more day?
dont leave me
You are my security
so patient
your love is steadfast
as a stone in a brook
which has never moved in
a million years
when the stars were fashioned
you rejoiced before the earth
was formed
when i becamse a thought in your mind
I am part of your great design
let me life exude more of your
greatness
let my life sing of your glory
so that those around me can hear me
and let them fall at your feet
as they see Your beauty
capture their eyes
steal away their gaze
from that which is harmful and take
them to new levels
you are better
than the finest fellow
better is one day in your courts
than thousands elsewhere
my habitation is in Your temple
and there I make my home
I wont be moved
I thank you that I am never alone--ar

Played for You

its your magnificent beauty
and the weight of your love
its a weight so light yet heavy
with heavens glory
infiltrate my every being
with passion for You
a fiery passion
a fire which does not go out at night
a fire which does not fade away
even though the sunlight boasts to
be bigger than my small flames
take me from glory to glory
tiny flames ignite into explosions
i want to be a bomb of the fragrance of the Lord
make my scent carry over for miles
over the hills
and over the ones
who sit in great darkness
waiting for their chains to be broken
let the yoke of your love destroy
that which tries to steal
your people away from you
let joy be my mantle
and take me to higher places
than i ever knew before
if Im soaring on wings of eagles
the enemy i shall
see creeping on the floor
i delight myself in You
my hearts desires have been planted in me
by You
Wisdom is refining
and my character
you are Fine tuning
i want to be the notes
of a piano
when it so diligently is played
to worship You--ar

Refreshing waves

im inspired so quickly

by the by products of my new life

i sing

i dance

i spin into oblivion

my dance a sweetly received sacrifice

i am alive with new life

and i cling to the future which calls me to move forward

why do i cry when

i know this was heaven sent

when it was my hearts cry

to see and feel alive?

why cry the winter is over

and springtime is here

the sound of turtledoves fill

the air with their singing

and the chirping of their worship

chips away at the sadness

which for so long did really abide

moving forward with anticipation

do i dare to lay out my feelings

their cards on the table

take a look at my hand

like what ya see?

then you must do anything it costs you to

follow me

i take a deep breath

breathing in every single second of life

smells so great

the sweet smell i taste

the sunlight falls on the weary lines on my face

im alive

take me now Jesus

i offer my life to you as a sweet sacrifice

let the fragrance of my death bring

a smile to your face

as i sit and listen to the silence

which sings to me of

your magnificent beauty

your presence feels like

refreshing waves falling

and chasing away my weariness

which dropped away in just a glance

just one glance of your eyes

teach me what that means

i yearn and plead

i will wait a moment longer

for You.

for Your sweet entrance

into my room

please stay here a little longer--ar

More than I ever really knew

Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life
my abundance
that He gave to me through His sacrifice
I will not be moved
I will not be shaken
For His ways are higher
than any mountain
with just one breath
He can move the mountains
Be cast into the sea
O mighty mountain
you have no hold over me
I will not doubt
I cling to my sanity
im free like a butterfly
i have nothing to fear
when im misunderstood
it makes me want to be humbled
even more
what he thinks
or said
is not the truth
I am filled with more
love for you than I ever really knew.--ar

wont be afraid

i seek never finding

thinking it was the Lords voice I was obeying

and now there is no one

around

i run to the beach

think of the sky

expanding over the seas and i take great

delight

i miss the passion of the pursuit and chase

and know that love will come on that one

perfect day

i will not be moved

i will not be shaken

i think Jesus is awesome

and feel theres an acceleration

of good things to come

they are happening so fast

are we in the end times

the joy of seeing you

and fellowshiping with

you i greatly await

i wont sit here

and disintegrate

i have love and a passion

and have given Him my all

Ive died a thousand times

and throught the night I may fall

while thinking of your presence

and i think of how i can quickly recall

and im free to dream

i am free to release

all of my feelings

and inside i wont hide

boredom came and i almost

fell off of my chair

hearing their voices and how

they went on and on

thinking hes handsome

and i do like the tattoos

the woman and the dislike i felt towards

her black shoes

who am i to judge

i want no one looking at me

i must search within myself

to find the answers

to dig out of this emotional hell

im tired and im weary

wont you please come and help me

wont you please come to hear me

wont you please come to heal me

in God I will not be ashamed

i wont be afraid--ar

after the storm

dark cloud
sweet abyss
tumultuous sounds
of deep and blackened waves
thunder and lightning
crashing over the waves
a dark storm is brooding
no sunlight in place
after the storm
comes the sweetest smell of grace
after the storm
comes the familiar
glimpse of His face
after the storm
the salt of my tears i taste--ar

butterfly

i think was this insanity
or was i trying to numb myself from feeling
anything that would be real somehow
was i trying to avoid the pain
of the truth
and will the road definitely lead me back to you?
lovesick
darkened and blue
i searched the streets
turning away from everything else calling me from
you
thinking this is insane
why does this person seem to cause me such pain
and i am filled with wisdom
yet somehow i think it has fallen behind
when everyone around me is doing just fine
and i think where is the joy
that came yesterday
and why is this one filled with such sorrow
im empty right now
fill me back up
i turn to you and lift my cup
let it overflow
take away the dross
give me life
and liberty
give me something to grasp
i dont want to run away
i want to look today in the face
cant handle it alone
i try and it just doesnt suffice
i will think of
how you called me your sweet butterfly
and i will fly--ar

Dont spoil the fun

i feel like a liar

why so many masks

and can i take each one of them off

i think of you today

how you coerced me into a truth

that would flip my world upside down

when i had to get used to boredom

and deem it normal and just the routine

no there werent any fights today

and no one got on a table

about ready to jump off

i lay in bed all day

sleeping away my pain

and distancing myself from my

dream i know not why

afraid im going to miss one

or something or that my lover

will die

who knows

just the thought i am anticipating makes

me want to stop and cry

theres no excuse not to have fun

theres no excuse now that everythings been done

a new place is stressful

its quite normal to find something

to try and spoil the fun

maybe i need to rethink all of my options and just

give it a try--ar

Only the great

give me a life to waste away on
you Jesus
i will spend my waking moments searching for You
and Your great power
i will not let an idle moment go by
without worshipping You
and fixing my eyes on you
every space in my life is spent in fellowship with You
when i leave my obligations
i run to be with You
its Your approval and truth i long for
i run over seashores to feel Your presence
and gaze at the sun
while thinking of your spirit
He touches my face
and warms me and brings a smile
i am truly starstruck
and im sometimes caught stargazing
daydreaming
and living in you
i shriek with delight
at your appearing
and when you walk into the room
i run to greet you
i jump hop and skip
and spin around
while you proceed into the room
The King has entered the room
stand up and give Him the praise He is due!
i think of a woman who
sits silently and waits upon You
because You are faithful
and true
and those are Your names
and I will think upon your love
and anticipate
from You only the great-ar

Drink offering

i walked around and around
talking to you while my feet hit the ground
staring at the ever expanding sky
thinking of the waves
and mother theresa
and tears filled my eyes
they water
as my heart turns to mush
ever wanting to be a drink offering
pouring out before you
falling over the edges of the altar
drops fall and hit the floor
i want it to circle the alter
overflow over the trenches
that are built around it
and fall every which way
the ways you want me to fall
show me what it really means to pour
myself out
putty in your hands
i collapse in surrender
while your spirit searches my soul
and peeks into the inner places
of my heart
the rooms of my heart
are laid out before you
take my life
and do with it what you will
use me like water in a cup
take me and water barren dry land
take growth to a new place
o sweetest Lord
your will I embrace--ar

Before the King of Glory

can i dance my crazy dance
in front of your ever gazing eyes
will you lock me up and throw
away the key?
will i stamp my feet
and grit my teeth
will i feel as if your eyes are ever
following me?
can i trust you to give me space?
i pound on the drums
of my passion
the songs of worship i hum
filled with worship
as i bow before the son
ever so terrifying
i want Him to terrify me
i want Him so close
I can feel the touch of His warm breath
hit my face
as I stand with my closed eyes
before the King of glory
who clothes me in rightousness
and I cant run away
we are standing face to face--ar

Ever so patiently

your anointing rushes in
and breaks all of my words
it tears down a page and makes me plead
for more
my words are torn
stripped down
to the core
the page is split in two and
i know that it was a visitation from you
my happy smile can pierce straight through
and the feet which have danced
are stretched beyond many miles
i will not chase after you
i left you a message you never returned
you are one of a million
dont think its my turn
your facade is tiresome
when will you please grow up
i love to be underestimated
it gives God a chance to prove
those around me wrong
When mountains are so high
my eyes faint looking at their height
when a mile feels like an eternity
and one day seems like 1000 and 3
i yearn for you
for your sweet sensitivity
i wait for you
ever so patiently--ar

So tongue tied

right before bed
i diminished all that has not been heaven sent
diminished all with what really wasnt beneficial to me or
my future to be
how can i describe the pain in internal discomfort
when can i describe the feelings of wanting to run away
when the numbness overloads the feelings and i think o no not today
when my brain swishes around and my thoughts
are in circular motion
i have a headache
my head pounds with my thoughts in rotation
i got angry with her
i felt silenced
when she hung up
she had someone she could confide in
i tell myself its the Lord i can confide in and trust
when He knows all the hurt and the pain that Ive carried
i confessed my sins and dont quite feel so merry
its eternal confession that my heart longs after
when we are made to feel as if our deepest darkest secrets
are to be abhored
why its their sweet release that brings freedom aboard
and i told a dear true friend
of the swamp and abyss that my soul was tied in
and she related to me
and lent me an ear
and my conscience now sings because its all so very clear
perhaps this brought about more upsetness and thats okay
maybe i can choose to forgive right now today
its really alright
what am i to do i feel so tongue tied-ar

Passion

i noticed his passion and
how he danced and shook the floor
uninhibited just like King David
and i thought how delightful
do we really have to so often hold back
when i let go and just let loose
i seem to bring more glory to Jesus and that
is what im longing for
when i am unashamed and undignified
i dont have to worry
about what someone thinks of me
as long as I am bringing glory to my King--ar

Fun

a dead silence
i think of my brain
and how it needs to expand
when admired from a afar
i felt good for a little while
i danced and tried to have fun
when in my deepest hearts of hearts
i thought about you
i will make it a point
to have as much fun as i possibly can
because my life and joy dont depend on any man-ar