That is what i contemplate

You have renewed my hope
even though the puzzle pieces of what happened
yesterday
dont quite make as much sense to me now
as they may 10 years from now
but i think the enemy tries to lie to me
and make me feel as if this is all that is happening
just what is going on in the here and now
theres a bigger picture
though i dont quite understand it
but its ok i dont have to
i have You to remind me
Lord i think of him
and what time i spent
waiting almost as if for nothing
i feel like it was a big joke
yet i know that i grew so much
i learned how much You really love me
and how special and important I am to You
i learned that I am part of You
a special part of creation that expresses the beauty
of You
its like I was waiting for a drop of love
from him
and all i got was the sand kicked in my face
and in my eyes
which brought the tears that i cried
i never wanted to go another day without him
gosh how could that be?
such a freaking mystery
and i think, no
its not such a mystery at all
there was never anything there to begin with
it was all nothing and originated from nothing?
i dare to say
that is what i contemplate
I may be way off
i may not know what is going on in his mind
nor do i really have to know at this time
but you will disclose the truth
once and for all
you will let me know
i dare to take it all
i dare to run and look it in the face
i dare to say its okay I have the Lords embrace
take me higher with You into the secret place
show me the answers
show me the truth
because it is You who knows all things
and i ask that You help me see a little bit more clearly
Youve got a master plan
and its written who is to be in it
and who is not to be
i embrace the people that You
have brought me
and ask that You help expand me
in the areas of sweet love
because i know its in there
my heart is not that cold
i ask for Your love
on Your truth I am sold
give me manna
give me grace
help me to further contemplate
Your wonders and mysteries
for this it takes great faith
but i know that my faith is more
precious than gold
i dont want to sound dramatic
but I am daring to be bold
i make my claim
i stand on Your promises
You say that Your plan is not to harm me
but to bring me good
a good future
and if You are at the center
of it I just cannot go wrong
I thank You for everything from
the bottom of my heart--ar